and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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