Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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