i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
