So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
