Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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