I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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