bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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