i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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