Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
