This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
