Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
