when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
