We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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