Do you still have your period?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
