i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
