It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
