Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You ruined the universe
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize