you guys were way drunker than both of me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
