Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
