Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
