Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just pee around me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize