I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize