sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
