On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize