these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize