we have pet lesbian snakes
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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