He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
