Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
