gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
