I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
