WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize