Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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