She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think a kid would responsible me up
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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