Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
