You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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