he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
