Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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