My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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