my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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