Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The struggles of a small town man whore
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
