i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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