Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
