apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
