being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
