Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I need a burrito and a hug.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
