Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
