i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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