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everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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