ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize