We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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