everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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