hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
