i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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