how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
