Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
