I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
