I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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