she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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