Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
