yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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