So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
